Hypocrite!

The finger has been pointed.
The charge laid down.
The critique spelled out.
Hypocrite!

Is it true?
Am I false, what makes me so?
Is it my sins, my failures, my brokeness?
Do my thoughts and feelings betray me?
My actions or my lack of actions?
Can a man speak of God though he himself is not perfect?

Before God I stand.
My soul laid bare before Him.
He sees all, from His searing  glance into my depths I cannot hide.
In shame and humility my failures are on display...and they are many.

Yet He also sees my heart, if I could be perfect before Him and all persons I surely would be!
What if I had all the answers?
All the perseverance, all the strength? All the time? What if I could be everything for everyone?
Truth is, I'm not even close.
I know this.

Day by day I struggle and question.
Ponder and pray.
Stand up ... back down.
Speak up...stay silent.
Act...do not act.
Trust...don't trust.
Draw the line...be trampled upon.
Sometimes I'm wise.
Mostly I'm  a fool.

What is my defense?
He is my defense! Christ Jesus!
Suffered, died, rose again, for me and all fellow failures, sinners, hypocrites!
While the accusers blind of their own faults, point their cold fingers, the Perfect God of love shows me grace and acceptance.
And though this hypocrite does not deserve it, he stands in my defense.

And yet He is more than my defense, He is my only hope.

What dreams may come, may go.

There comes a time for all of us.
A quiet time, swallowed up by somber regret, where the truth of our present circumstances must be accepted. The dreams fade...slowly  turning gray.

What if I. ...why did i...too much time has passed now...is it too late for me?

Even the dreams of fools refuse
To die easy, they live on like the small burning  embers of a forgotten campfire.

The hollow silence inside, longs to be filled. Have I been forgotten by my God? Has he removed His guiding hand . Are my steps unsure? Has my earthen journey led me to a land of dark and fog?

Hope...hope and remembrance.
I can hear their faint cry, I am afraid to listen, to believe.
What if I fail again, what if the voices are the mere illusions of a wounded soul trying to find healing?

Hope...hope and pray.
That the sun will shine through the night and find my face.
Can the mighty God remember me?
Can mercy turn His face towards me?
Can my hope blossom into my reality?
Will my prayers find footing?
Hear my heart almighty God, for this lost and discouraged fool needs a Shepherd.. ...
needs a Father.....
needs to be loved.