Hypocrite!

The finger has been pointed.
The charge laid down.
The critique spelled out.
Hypocrite!

Is it true?
Am I false, what makes me so?
Is it my sins, my failures, my brokeness?
Do my thoughts and feelings betray me?
My actions or my lack of actions?
Can a man speak of God though he himself is not perfect?

Before God I stand.
My soul laid bare before Him.
He sees all, from His searing  glance into my depths I cannot hide.
In shame and humility my failures are on display...and they are many.

Yet He also sees my heart, if I could be perfect before Him and all persons I surely would be!
What if I had all the answers?
All the perseverance, all the strength? All the time? What if I could be everything for everyone?
Truth is, I'm not even close.
I know this.

Day by day I struggle and question.
Ponder and pray.
Stand up ... back down.
Speak up...stay silent.
Act...do not act.
Trust...don't trust.
Draw the line...be trampled upon.
Sometimes I'm wise.
Mostly I'm  a fool.

What is my defense?
He is my defense! Christ Jesus!
Suffered, died, rose again, for me and all fellow failures, sinners, hypocrites!
While the accusers blind of their own faults, point their cold fingers, the Perfect God of love shows me grace and acceptance.
And though this hypocrite does not deserve it, he stands in my defense.

And yet He is more than my defense, He is my only hope.

What dreams may come, may go.

There comes a time for all of us.
A quiet time, swallowed up by somber regret, where the truth of our present circumstances must be accepted. The dreams fade...slowly  turning gray.

What if I. ...why did i...too much time has passed now...is it too late for me?

Even the dreams of fools refuse
To die easy, they live on like the small burning  embers of a forgotten campfire.

The hollow silence inside, longs to be filled. Have I been forgotten by my God? Has he removed His guiding hand . Are my steps unsure? Has my earthen journey led me to a land of dark and fog?

Hope...hope and remembrance.
I can hear their faint cry, I am afraid to listen, to believe.
What if I fail again, what if the voices are the mere illusions of a wounded soul trying to find healing?

Hope...hope and pray.
That the sun will shine through the night and find my face.
Can the mighty God remember me?
Can mercy turn His face towards me?
Can my hope blossom into my reality?
Will my prayers find footing?
Hear my heart almighty God, for this lost and discouraged fool needs a Shepherd.. ...
needs a Father.....
needs to be loved.

Shalom

Shalom...

Father Bob says it means Gods peace and presence... Even if things around you are not so peaceful. So here I am at church prayer, asking God for His peace and His presence. I am aware that I am being greedy with this request. God has blessed me so much already. All my life He has called me and made Himself known to me, yet I ask for more of His presence in my life. All my life He has provided for me and yet, I ask for more provisions. I am keenly aware that I am insufficient in being able to provide, and produce in any way for myself and my loved ones. It is God who makes all things happen and who orders my steps. It is God who will one day watch me take my last breath and command my angel to bring my spirit to Him. In the mean time I wrestle...against this fallen world...against my fallen soul. I am the most unworthy, and yet, spoiled by my Father. With all this I pray, Lord Jesus, Father God give me your shalom. Lord God, Father God I come to you with my fears and dreams, shepherd me I pray. Amen.

The Staircase

1.   Just another day Gin thought to himself, another day full of the same old boring chores. The sound of fathers constant yelling was causing Gins ears to ring. Although, Gin thought to himself, as he emptied the burlap bag of rubbish onto the backyard fire pit, life here in the meadow land is peaceful...too peaceful perhaps.

2.   Gin could hear his mother calling him from inside their small thatched cottage home "be careful not to burn yourself Gin, do you hear me?" "Yes mother!" Gin yelled back with a tone of annoyance. "How many times have I burned the family rubbish?" Gin asked himself, "only a thousand times!" was his quick answer to himself.

3.   night fell as the fire grew and faded. Gin laid next to it on the grass starring at the night sky. The stars looked amazing on these clear summer nights. What if I could somehow go up to the heavens and commune with the ancients who lit the stars so long ago? What could they show me? What could they teach me? Many in the meadow lands are saying that perhaps the stories of the ancients were just legend, like fairy tales, but Gin, he was a believer, and he knew up there, or somewhere far away there were great things!

4.   "Hear ye Hear ye!" came the morning call. Gin jumped up from his earthen bed, he must have fallen asleep and now the whole village was in a stir as the kings messengers were yelling and posting the kings proclamation on various post and doors throughout the village. Gin did a quick morning stretch and then quickly ran to the front of his families cottage. Mom, dad, and little brother were already there. dad had the kings proclamation, which was nailed to their door, now in his hand...mom looked worried.

5.   "Says here that King Xavier is calling all , able bodied, young men to his service" "what's it about?" Gins mother asked as she looked at Gin. "Doesn't say" Gins father replied. "But all qualified candidates have to be ready by sunset tomorrow, the kings regiment will come through to pick them up" Gin looked down at Sammy his little brother at age five he surely would not be a candidate, Gin however, had just celebrated his nineteenth birthday last week. It was a merry celebration indeed with too much food and too much drink, it took a couple days for Gin and his friends to recover. Funny,  Gin thought  I sure didn't imagine this coming. What is going to happen to me and my friends now?

6.   to be continued...

The blessing of God for the new year

There is a prayer of blessing in the old testament that is absolutely perfect...

Nm 6:22-27

The LORD said to Moses: “Speak to Aaron and his sons and tell them: This is how you shall bless the Israelites. Say to them:

The LORD bless you and keep you!
The LORD let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you!
The LORD look upon you kindly and give you peace!
So shall they invoke my name upon the Israelites, and I will bless them.”

What strikes me this first day of the new year is the "may the Lord keep you" part.
The longer i walk with God the more I realize that I need Jesus to keep me.
Given up to my own lustful passions and desires I would surely consume to my undoing.
It is the tragedy of the human condition, we are fallible sinners with appetites for destruction.
So this year as I pray the blessings of God on my life and for my family and friends, I focus on the keeping!
Lord Jesus keep me in you, in your presence, in your care, filled with your Holy Spirit and love.
Don't let me stray Lord lest I wander beyond finding!
May Gods blessings rush upon all who read and share this message!

Godspeed
Jimmyg

Prayer of blessing

Sometimes the best way to pray is by pouring your heart on paper and writing a prayer down, here is one I wrote for my family and i. My wife and I use it now as we go before God. Maybe you can use it as well.

Prayer of blessing 
Heavenly Father, Savior Jesus Christ, Precious Holy Spirit ...we come to you with this petition. We pray as we have been sealed in the natural with the chrism oil upon our confirmation, that in the spiritual realm you would always pour out your abundant blessings upon us. We pray you would grace us with the gifts of knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. That we would gain your spiritual discernment, that you would open our eyes to you and the spiritual unseen realm around us. We thank you for making us victorious, the head and not the tail, the lender And not the borrower, and for bestowing upon us your humble servants, all the blessings you desire to bless us with. We pray that we would be a blessing to all those in need that you put before us. We ask you Holy Mary Mother of God, Saint Joseph and Saint Anna to pray and intercede for us to The Lord Jesus Christ as only you can from your heavenly position. We ask you to keep us in your prayers, care, and watchful eyes from now until the day we go to meet The Lord Jesus Christ.
Amen!


From Spurgeon. ....

From Charles Spurgeon's "Faith's Checkbook" Who Has the Majority? August 17 And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. (2 Kings 6:16) Horses and chariots and a great host shut up the prophet in Dothan. His young servant was alarmed. How could they escape from such a body of armed men? But the prophet had eyes which his servant had not, and he could see a greater host with far superior weapons guarding him from all harm. Horses of fire are mightier than horses of flesh, and chariots of fire are far preferable to chariots of iron. Even so is it at this hour. The adversaries of truth are many, influential, learned, and crafty; and truth fares ill at their hands; and yet the man of God has no cause for trepidation. Agencies, seen and unseen, of the most potent kind, are on the side of righteousness. God has armies in ambush which will reveal themselves in the hour of need. The forces which are on the side of the good and the true far outweigh the powers of evil. Therefore, let us keep our spirits up, and walk with the gait of men who possess a cheering secret, which has lifted them above all fear. We are on the winning side. The battle may be sharp, but we know how it will end. Faith, having God with her, is in a clear majority: "They that be with us are more than they that be with them." From the Faith's Checkbook Mobile Devotional Android app - http://www.LookingUpwardApps.com/fcb